~tired~

I finally have my regular laptop back. Celebration!

Maybe it just hasn't been charged up long enough for it to be running quicker. I'm more comfortable. Ugh, everything is erased though. Everything that used to be on my computer.
I didn't even get a chance to save anything.

I have another craft show tomorrow. I'm actually a little more nervous for this one. It is more of a flea market than an actual festival. So, it attracts a different crowd, plus it is right smack downtown. I shouldn't be so worked up. I hate that it is so much earlier.

I see some guys in my matrix sometimes, but don't ever know why sometimes. Its not like they are talking to me, or that I can hear who they are talking to.
Its like someone is waving something in front of me that I should be concerned with, but what is the point when I am not even told what is going on? I'm just sick of the system.

I don't have a firm decision on any guys. With the ones I that have been in my view and radar, I think I will have my guard up. Its not easy to be easy going. Its not easy to open up. Its not easy to say anything.
I'm not in the mood to hear any sort of counselor or life coach. I don't want the paranoia of having to be a people pleaser or meeting anyone's expectations. I just want to be me without caring what either side thinks.